Whether or not to Punish the child?
Sometimes all–still without punishment is not enough. It is about those cases, when your child knows what he’s doing is bad and wrong. He knows that this behavior imposed a strict ban. Knows – and checks… “strength”. And suddenly the boundaries of their own sovereignty to be extended? Suddenly can not be considered with parental demands? It is so important to clarify from time to time, who’s the pack leader.
Why you have to punish the child
Than to respond to children’s rudeness, deliberate cruelty, lies, blatant disobedience? Here, the reaction of the parents must be strict and unambiguous. Want–don’t want to have to punish. From all children’s misconduct was exactly the reaction requires approximately 10 %.
Incidentally, demonstrating defiance, the child… waiting for punishment and even needs him. After all, a false sense that you are stronger than adults, is not conducive to the successful development of the personality, only provokes fears. After all, if mom and dad can’t obey – therefore, their word penny is not worth it. From this, the child concludes: “parents – people are weak, lacking authority”. It can’t protect you any–that weakling?
The importance of evaluation for the children’s consciousness was confirmed by a psychological experiment. Within a few days three year old child is not praised and not punished, no matter what deeds he did not commit. As a result, the baby began to praise and blame himself. After all, the rewards and punishments help the little man to adapt to the society.
The most important condition for raising children — a sequence. If a transgression worthy of punishment, it is always worthy, and not only when the mother is not in the spirit. If any–the action is forbidden by the parents, so grandma must respond to the violation of the ban with all severity. Otherwise the credibility of the members of the family will be undermined.
However, the use of punishment is possible only after you have repeatedly explained the rules of conduct and are confident that the child understands the rules. And, of course, he should know what he is being punished. You need to clarify: did he realize what punished? Then offer him to comment on his behavior. A baby must assess your own misconduct – this will help to understand him for the future, why should do so, and not otherwise.
So, punishment is necessary. Now let’s decide how we are going to punish?
The older generation – “experienced” – of course, recommend “rip a gray goat” disobedient child. Maybe that’s why spanking — the most common “teaching method” in post-Soviet society: statistics say that in our country, about 85% of parents of children under 12 years use of physical punishment. That’s only effective method of education such punishment as just the 8–10 % of practicing it. Most – as many as 65% would prefer to raise children differently, that’s just the thing: they don’t know how.
And if you decided to everything–the same to apply this method of punishment, you should know that it has its important rules. Basic rule: never hit a hand. Use lozinku, a newspaper, strap. Because the arm does not hit, she strokes. Gentle mother’s hands should be associated only with love. Yes, and the force of the punch can not be calculated, the same rod spanking a child is not crippled. Rule number two: don’t punish in anger. Remember the ancient ritual of corporal punishment? Need to get the rod, soak in water for… During this time, a father’s anger had cooled, the parent calmed down and assessed the situation soberly. And the execution was educational moment.
By the way, the children themselves do not appreciate the spanking as the most terrible punishment, moreover, it allows you to throw off the sense of guilt and even be offended by parents. That’s just the wrongs we’ve done. And again, corporal punishment does violence than–the mediocre in the mind of the little man. Adult makes it clear that physical strength — the only means of resolving the conflict. What is the result? The child takes this tactic and applies it in adulthood! Studies show that up to 60% of children who were victims of violence, or become the subjects or targets of violence in adulthood.
Amnesty – when you can’t punish the child:
when the baby is sick, experiencing discomfort or have not improved after an illness;
when eating; after sleep; at night; during the game; during operation;
immediately after injury – whether physical or mental: broken knee, “unsatisfactory” in mathematics, a fight… At least wait out acute stress. However, to rush to comfort their delinquent child is not worth it;
if it is unsound, foolish, or awkward – that is, in cases where the baby–or not, but he is honestly trying to do;
when the bad motives of its action – no matter trifling or very ugly – you yourself are not clear;
when you are tired, nervous, or upset from–for circumstances not related to the child – in this state, the anger always lies.
And very–it is important to remember that the punishment in the education — only a tiny episode. However, most of the time let not to chat soul, to regret, to pay attention, even to repeat the same thing a hundred million times, together surprised the insect in the track and be proud of the big and small victories of their children!