To beat or not to Beat the child-rearing practices

Countless screaming and spanking parents suffers from guilt, from the consciousness of his parent “incompetence”.

And can be, no need to bother? The inadmissibility of the use of physical violence and yelling as a means of bringing unchallenged. But we are not always Teachers, and sometimes even just real people. All people differ in many qualities, such as temperament and other properties of the nervous system. And if you have “explosive” or just enough emotional temperament, the constant attempts to “control myself”, not letting his violent feelings near the surface, may lead you to a real nervous breakdown or illness. Constantly suppressed anger can cause the development of hypertension, for example.

It seems that recently we talked about the fact that you cannot use the child as a “punching bag”, and tore off the irritation, “outweighing” on his own psychological turmoil. This is true.

But if the child brought you “boiling point”, if your violent reaction caused his behavior (and not by problems in their personal lives, rudeness in public transport or injustice of his superiors at work) – honestly, you have the right to shout and even plunk.

This, Continue reading

Child asking where daddy

“Where is your Papa?” or that child to answer curious

To live without a dad is not easy. No one says you have to keep the family together at any cost is not always wise and sometimes simply impossible. And yet sonomama know how difficult it is psychologically and morally, and financially, too… And besides, we all don’t live on a deserted island, but in society. And sooner or later your baby will ask “Where’s your daddy?”.

Children on the Playground, the doctor at the clinic, the grandmother of the neighbor… the first time the kid will be perplexed and will come with the same question to you about. what to say, read the article “the Child asks where daddy “. You need to prepare, the second time he did not panic and knew what to answer.

Close to the truth

Key point: do not tell the child “but let’s just say aunt Luda that…”. First, the child will feel the discrepancy: my mom says that lying is bad, and then she asks to do it? And secondly, such a maneuver will attract unwanted attention to this issue. Children tend to think out what you do not understand, and here the logic is very simple – if mom says no, dad, it means that there is something wrong. Don’t be surprised a kid’s imagination can take him very far, to the extent that daddy left because of the bad mother. Continue reading

Mom, I’m pregnant!

“Mom, I’m pregnant!” Why women are so often afraid for the first time to say these words? If we are talking about an unmarried young girl is still somehow can understand. But why such a fear of experiencing adult women, who have everything in order, have a loving husband, a separate apartment, and the child (first, second, third, fifth…) — they are waiting with joy?

The situation says the psychologist Alla Hwang.

Alla Hwang

It is noticed that in today’s society, today’s women are really sometimes there is fear of motherhood. Motherhood is not really fit to the values of this society: self-realization, career, achievements… the Future of motherhood begins to be perceived boundary between normal life and the life where all the popular values seem to be unavailable.

Against this background, the fear to admit the mother in pregnancy is quite understandable. But he himself is in some sense just a shadow. And figure that the shadow gives is actually a need to support the mother and a lack of confidence, she will get it.

Before the older woman, the mother helped in childbirth, took the child, washed, taught young Continue reading

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