Countless screaming and spanking parents suffers from guilt, from the consciousness of his parent “incompetence”.
And can be, no need to bother? The inadmissibility of the use of physical violence and yelling as a means of bringing unchallenged. But we are not always Teachers, and sometimes even just real people. All people differ in many qualities, such as temperament and other properties of the nervous system. And if you have “explosive” or just enough emotional temperament, the constant attempts to “control myself”, not letting his violent feelings near the surface, may lead you to a real nervous breakdown or illness. Constantly suppressed anger can cause the development of hypertension, for example.
It seems that recently we talked about the fact that you cannot use the child as a “punching bag”, and tore off the irritation, “outweighing” on his own psychological turmoil. This is true.
But if the child brought you “boiling point”, if your violent reaction caused his behavior (and not by problems in their personal lives, rudeness in public transport or injustice of his superiors at work) – honestly, you have the right to shout and even plunk.
This, Continue reading
Small baby crying when he’s sick. He has no desire to “bully” their parents, just in another way he can’t announce that he was in trouble (is hungry, tummy ache, teething, etc.). For the baby form a favorable impression of the world (which is very important for its further development), none of his request for assistance should not be neglected. As noted by psychologists, these requests have mom must react with lightning speed. According to them, the sooner the mother comes to the child for help, the less nervous system suffers and the more favorable the impression the kid about his new habitat.
The books are especially popular in our country B. Spock a lot of advice not to take the child in his arms, not to play with him too much when he is awake, it is alleged, leads to the spoiled and prevents the development of independence. Alas, these tips (as well as much more in the books for Spock) the latest data of psychology does not stand up to scrutiny. It is tactile contact (when a child), a calm gentle voice mom give the child confidence, reduce stress, and thereby created the conditions for independence.
All parents it is advisable to learn one simple thing: in the first months of life (approximately one year) there is no danger to spoil the child. Love and affection can never have too many.
A young child also needs food, sleep, movement, there is also the need for love, Continue reading
Adult women, though, and the home, hardly coexist in the same kitchen, and adolescent girls it is not easy to grow up with the jealous moms.
So competition does not destroy the relationships of loved ones, it is better not to ignore (say, the problem does not concern us), and to investigate such a possibility, says analyst Ilona Tyszkiewicz.
Almost every fairy tale for girls begins with how his father married a bitchy beauty. And it’s not that at every step met orphans. Tales designed not only to them, and normal children. The growing child with a good relationship with my mother can not openly recognize the spirit of competition. Not so ashamed to dream about the victory over the “evil alien aunt” than a real parent. Incidentally, the first sibling rivalry occurs in 4-6 years, when it becomes clear that to marry dear old dad will not succeed – he’s busy. A child looks in a new way: on the one hand, this is mom’s favorite, on the other hand,… Oh, you had to be born before it and “borrow” dad. In adolescence there is another interest is: beautiful I mom?
These stages are experienced in all children. Here are just a reaction to this mom totally different. Continue reading