The child is lying – what is the reason and what to do about it? These questions are asked by many parents when they notice that the child is lying.
If the child is lying, parents begin to blame it on his friends who taught him to lie, to look for what they did wrong when raising, etc. but what to do if you started to lie 4-year-old kid who never goes outside alone and never learned to lie from her friends? If you realize that the child is lying, do not need to blame, shame and punish.
The nature of children’s lies
As we have said, the child may begin to lie to your parents at a very early age, but it should be understood that the kid isn’t doing this specifically and especially not for using lies to manipulate you.
Typically, young children are strongly developed imagination, but he is not yet aware that his imagination is not true. He comes up with different stories and he believes them because young children believe that their whole life is a fairy tale. Therefore, if your toddler tells you that came to him elf or some other fairy tale character, don’t need to convince him otherwise and certainly don’t need to abuse the baby. Because children tend to believe in soothsayers-IEC, Santa and other fairy tale characters.
If all the lies of your child is to compose all sorts of unrealistic scenes, you don’t need to worry, on the contrary, you should rejoice that your baby has creative abilities that must be developed.
After four years the child develops the ability to “inner speech”- this means that before to say something aloud, the child can speak it and understand needless to say the truth or to lie. In this way, the child tries to make your life more comfortable and to avoid dissatisfaction adults or punishment.
Also the baby can lie in order for it to attract the attention of parents and obtain their approval or praise. In this case, the child is lying consciously and purposefully, he knows that if you don’t tell the truth, it won’t get in trouble, and maybe even on the contrary, praise. So gradually the lie becomes a habit or protection, which helps him to communicate with parents.
Now that you understand the nature of children’s lies, offer to go to her reasons, because if a child is lying, he’s lying, not just because it made him happy.
The reasons why the child is lying
Almost always the child is lying because he is trying to inform parents that in his life there was a failure that he can’t fix yourself. And then parents need to understand what is the cause of children’s lies, what the needs of their child encourage the child to lie.
We have already mentioned the false imagination, when the kid says something out of science fiction, such a lie and lies do not call, but rather a game in which the child develops their imagination.
Lie to manipulate about it, we had also mentioned, but I must say that lying is a fantasy and a lie to manipulate very similar to each other, only in the second case the child is not amused and wants with the help of lies to get others to admire themselves, to surprise and be in the spotlight.
.Lie out of fear. Typically, such a lie is very common. The child is lying out of fear of punishment or humiliation. In addition, the child may lie because of the fear to offend, upset or disappoint mom or dad. Also, the child may lie due to the fact that he is afraid of being rejected by their parents. He thinks that if I say the truth, his parents will not love. In this case, the parents should decide when a child is lying out of fear, it means that their relationship with the child is not so good as expected. Most likely, at some stage the child has lost the trust of parents. Maybe you scold the child unfairly? Or punish him when he expects support from you?
Also the baby can lie to save his friend or comrade, such a lie is called a white lie, and even very young children can go for it.
Another child may lie to get revenge on the parents for lack of love and attention.
Another reason children lie is that the kid seems to be that parents don’t love him. Feeling lonely, he attracts attention with lies. And if after he lied, parents will punish him, he will be happy that he noticed. In this case, the child will lie constantly, because he realizes that only through lies, he can be noticed by parents.
Well, the last reason lies, the so-called lie-habit. The child is always lying, where necessary and not necessary, for him it is already a habit. He no longer worries about the consequences of lying, and even if it is found in a lie, he still would do it. Such a child is not amenable to re-education and behaviour change.
How do I teach my child to lie
How to wean a child to lie? Perfectly rational question being asked by all parents faced with a child’s lie.
We have realized that in almost all cases the baby is lying because in his world, something goes wrong. Therefore, you as a man more wise and experienced must understand and help their child. Analyze your behavior towards the child, maybe you are too strict or are frequently and wrongly punished. And maybe you ask too much from a child? Perhaps the child feels constant pressure from your side, but a lie is his defense?
After you analyze their behavior, you should change it. For example, if your son or daughter brought from school the two, do not swear, it is better to help tighten up the objects on which the child gets bad marks. And another time when the child is frankly acknowledged that got zero support it and work out again with him.
If your child is still small, but already started to lie, you need to sit down and talk with him like an adult, but sit so that you could look into the eyes of each other.
If the child has already benefited from the lie, then you need to explain to him that next time he will be punished not for his misdeeds, but for lying.
And last, let your offspring to Express both positive and negative emotions. If you somehow will prevent the child to release negative emotions, he will constantly experience stress, and you will lie out of fear to upset you.