Child asking where daddy
“Where is your Papa?” or that child to answer curious
To live without a dad is not easy. No one says you have to keep the family together at any cost is not always wise and sometimes simply impossible. And yet sonomama know how difficult it is psychologically and morally, and financially, too… And besides, we all don’t live on a deserted island, but in society. And sooner or later your baby will ask “Where’s your daddy?”.
Children on the Playground, the doctor at the clinic, the grandmother of the neighbor… the first time the kid will be perplexed and will come with the same question to you about. what to say, read the article “the Child asks where daddy “. You need to prepare, the second time he did not panic and knew what to answer.
Close to the truth
Key point: do not tell the child “but let’s just say aunt Luda that…”. First, the child will feel the discrepancy: my mom says that lying is bad, and then she asks to do it? And secondly, such a maneuver will attract unwanted attention to this issue. Children tend to think out what you do not understand, and here the logic is very simple – if mom says no, dad, it means that there is something wrong. Don’t be surprised a kid’s imagination can take him very far, to the extent that daddy left because of the bad mother. Or the child is bad.
So just tell your child the version that you think is relevant. It was her and he would retell all curious. That’s only if other children will be sufficient answer: “My dad lives in another city”, the adults may well begin to ask in more detail. For adults suitable phrase: “Daddy doesn’t live with us”. But there will always be those who will ask “why?”. There is a sense to teach a child to such Intrusive inquiries “well-wishers” to politely say, “Mom asked such questions do not answer”. The child explain that it is not necessary to tell strangers too much about his family.
Don’t lie to the child about the father and teach him not to lie on this subject myself. Is that kids are starting to write stories about fathers-heroes. Earlier were popular tales about dad-polar and dad-the astronaut kids now seriously tell my friends that their dad is a secret service agent, adding to the colorful scenes from the movies seen.
The fact that the child very much that he was the father. And even better – to be proud of. But such stories can hurt the very same baby: children will not believe and will make fun of him. Therefore, gently but firmly explain to your child that lying is bad. And tell him the real story about his father. Of course, if he is a criminal or a drug addict, reality will have to embellish. But if an ordinary man, tell us, in what house he lives, what works, what his car than he is fond of. This will give your toddler the chance to say in reply to the statement of someone from friends: “My dad yesterday went fishing!” – “My dad loves to fish!” and nothing to write.
Show the children the pictures of his father, and the children usually love to consider these photos: they give the opportunity to “draw” an imaginary Pope, to represent his features, eye and hair color. Let him take these photos a walk to show “doubting” friends who don’t believe that your baby has a father.
Often it is the case that a child showing off a new toy, said: “dad bought This for me!”. Not that he’s so worried about the lack of gifts from my dad, just this is often done in imitation of other children.
Again, talk to your child and ask them not to cheat. And if dad supports you at least some connection and at least once a year sends something to your child – consider yourself lucky. Just do not try to hide gifts, or to say that they are from my grandmother – child will be pleased that he, too, dad buys something, and he is sure to tell your friends about it.
Let your child know that you are normal, and not “incomplete” family. This confidence will help him with dignity to answer any questions. Better, of course, to protect them from excessive curiosity “gossips,” but, of course, only you my baby don’t defend. So treat such issues calmly, do not dwell on this subject – and the baby too will not be too reactive to the question “where’s your dad?”.